Something about being a dad...


Written on 3/28/2009 12:22:00 am by sikapitan

Here’s a brief chronology of events leading up to the birth of Putra Dani Nashrin:

Thursday, 19th March 2009

0900 – I was supposed to go for site visits when Rinie said she couldn’t stand the pain anymore. My mom panicked, of course, and we all went to Sime Darby Medical Centre – Subang Jaya (I much prefer SJMC)

1130 – After monitoring Rinie for one hour, at a charge of close to RM 200, the nurse said her dilation’s was only 1 cm, and her contraction wasn’t severe. The doctor examined her and told us to go back home. At the rate we’re going, she says, Dani may even exceed the estimated due date (22nd March 2009). She was expecting us to come see her on Monday morning to discuss other options, including inducing labour. Lesson No.1: Don’t trust your doctors 100%

1930 – We went out to KLCC. Doctor said she must move a lot more to speed up the process. I went up to finish up some work, because I’m leaving Maxis by the 2nd of April. Another entry, another day for that. Rinie bought another bag. Sigh.

Friday, 20th March 2009

1030 – We went to Sunway Pyramid. Needed to switch my Maxis line from Employee Rate Plan to a normal Value plan. Rinie was in pain, with contractions coming in every 5 minutes. I was a bit worried, but she said it was okay. We had lunch at TGI.

1430 – Contractions getting worse according to Rinie. My mom made the executive decision to bring her to the hospital, so off we went again.

1600 – After another hour of monitoring, they still gave us an option of whether to stay or to go back. Are they crazy? I said, screw it, we’re gonna sleep here tonight. Rinie was in a terrible mess by this time. Her dilation was only 2cm, but her contractions coming in at a shorter period, but according to the nurse, not intense enough.

2130 – She tried to watch One in A Million, to catch Tomok. Apparently, he’s pretty good. Unfortunately, the pain was too much for her to enjoy the show. Parents came over, but can’t visit her. There wasn’t an empty room, so we had to stay in the labour room (Delivery Room 3A to be exact), and they don’t allow anyone except husband to be there.

2300 – Took the painkiller that the doctor said would help. I just wanted her to sleep well as she needs the energy to push Dani out.

Saturday, 21st March 2009

0300 – Painkiller no longer effective. I keep waking up every 3 minutes as Rinie suffered through her contractions. Called in the nurse, decided to get the epidural. Epidural is a form of painkiller that is delivered via an insertion in your bone marrow or something. Anaesthetist was called in, signed a few papers, and Rinie underwent the short procedure. Immediate relief, wished she got it earlier

0900 – She can’t have breakfast, she can’t eat. She’s been fasting since 3 a.m. Dilation’s only at 2.5 and opening very slowly. In fact, contraction seemed to have slowed down. This is another side effect of epidural. You don’t feel the pain, so your muscle won’t contract, so it’s harder to open up. Oh, the Doc decided to break her water-bag as a way to expedite the contractions.

1230 – Still no difference. Dilation at 4 cm. But Rinie looked really weak. She hadn’t had anything for the past 13 hours at least. I’ve had Nasi Lemak, 1901s and I still feel weak. Damn, it’s hard being a mother.

1530 – It was getting worse. Somehow the epidural’s not working so well. It’s either the nurse messed up, or Rinie’s contraction getting worse. I don’t know, because the nurses have trouble communicating. They’re nice people, but I wanted to know what’s going on. They’ll just waltz in, jab a few things, poke their finger, smile and leave the room. What the f*c*?

1730 – Still no food or drink for Rinie. Just sips of water. Why? Because if she has to suddenly go for caesarean (ie. open surgery to remove baby), then she must be clear of food or water. But it has been going on for almost a day now, and she was so tough to ride it out. I’ve got marks on my hand where she pinched and scratched during her contractions. It hurts, of course, but you’ve got to imagine how much pain SHE was going through. Lesson No.2: Wrap a towel around your hand

1900 – Tried watching Akademi Fantasia. Doctor came in and examined Rinie. Dilation only at 5 cm. She said if things don’t improve by 2230, she’ll have to perform a caesarean. It’s risky to keep babies for longer than a day when the water-back has been broken.

1930 – Inform the family of this news. They were worried, and my father-in-law started saying how weak Rinie is, and how he always knew Rinie would finally have to opt for a C-Section. I told Rinie about it, and it was like she was motivated to deliver this baby naturally after being challenged like that.

2230 – Doctor came in, said that dilation was 8 cm. Wow. She switched off the epidural, and said they’d monitor for another ½ hour. Rinie was by then fully dependant on the gas mask for pain relief. It was so discomforting to see your wife suffer by your side. Every few minutes I would have to cup in the mask for her to breathe in the “laughing gas”. Lesson No. 3: Eat, because you have to keep up your energy level to support your wife

2300 – Nurse came in, and started to move things around, and put in new equipments. Asked Rinie to spread her legs, and push. WTF? Who was going to deliver my baby? What the hell did I pay for anyway? I was just pissed off that they weren’t telling me much

2315 – One annoying nurse came, poked around, gave some stupid advice. It’s not their fault actually. Now, I just realized that we’re probably the gazillion couple they’ve given birth to. For them, we’re just another couple. But for us, this is our first they could certainly improve in this area

2320 – Doctor came in, started getting ready. I didn’t realize it but by then I was part of the process, prodding my wife to push as hard as she could. I couldn’t believe that I was there, because I’m the squirmish kind of dude. Even my parents said I shouldn’t be a burden to Rinie. Lesson No. 4: This is a true life-changing moment of discovery. Not some summer camp crap...

2335 – Doctor said she was trying hard to help, but if Rinie can’t push along then we have to go for emergency C-Section. I think she was just trying to scare Rinie, and it worked. Rinie pushed and pushed and out comes the baby. Can you imagine that the baby’s been stuck in a tiny area for so long?

2337 – Baby came out just fine. Not like in the movies, crying immediately. It was eerily quiet for a brief moment. Dani was like a squid. Seriously. I was asked whether I would like to cut the umbilical cord. I said yes, and it felt weird cutting it. Nurse immediately put him under a warmer, and that’s when I first heard his cry. Damn, he’s loud. Lesson No. 5: Life is not like in the movies.

2345 – Dani was placed on Rinie’s lap. Rinie was glowing, despite the fact she was still wide open with the doctor doing some weird stuff between her legs. Luckily, she was a woman. Lesson No. 6: Guys, go for female OBGY...hehehe

2400 – Family was standing outside Labour Ward, looking all excited. I came out and told them everything’s okay. Putra Dani Nashrin, 3.45 KG, 11.37PM. I was immediately mobbed and hugged and congratulated. Heck, it’s great being a dad. She does all the hard work (and it was freaking hard work) and I get all the applause. Lesson No. 7: Be the Guy

Officially, doctor said Rinie underwent 17 hours of labour. But she started counting only in the morning of the 21st, when she broke her water-bag. But she was on epidural since 3, and painkillers since 11 the night before. She didn't eat or drink for close to 24 hours. That's crazy!

I have a new found respect for her. She's tough like hell, and I'm gonna make sure Dani knows it too.

Btw, don't panic if your baby comes out looking like he's a track cyclist. The helmet-like shape of the head is only temporary...

More on this later! (Sorry to bore my mates. Football pun tengah International break kan?)

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  1. Anonymous |

    congrats najmie! :)

  2. yatie chomeyl |

    i'll make sure my hubby will read this post ...just to give him brief idea on how he should react and he should expect during labor. thanks 4 sharing it

  3. Iron Butterfly |

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Iron Butterfly |

    Wow... 3.45kg is BIG for a firstborn. Can't imagine how Rinie pushed him out. *shudder.

    Congrats again to both of you =)

  5. SJ |

    congratulations to both of you!

    terharu baca the dad's perspective. been reading mums' stories je selama ni *sob sob*

  6. Mrs.R @ Emi |

    rinie sgt kuat!!
    dani sgt chomel!!

  7. P |

    agree with yatie up there..must let my hubby read this..i don't think he has a clue at all.thanks for sharing.

  8. D. Sofia |

    wow, that sounds like a long labour.. congrats again to you both.

    I can't help but feel angry that the water bag was broken at 5 cm apropos of nothing.. but I'm no OBGYN either.

  9. D. Sofia |

    wow, that sounds like a long labour.. congrats again to you both.

    I can't help but feel angry that the water bag was broken at 5 cm apropos of nothing.. but I'm no OBGYN either.


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