sapa makan babi dia la masuk neraka...eih..cam tak kena jer...

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Written on 11/22/2004 04:00:00 am by sikapitan

You need others to validate
Your existence to contemplate
Do people love or hate
It all depends on how many friends you make

We count to appease
The notion at least
More friends to be
Popular like you and he

My space is yours
Darkest secrets are lost
Revealing yourself at all cost
To gain friends, of course

It’s all staged for my benefit
How cool you are for my music
Try to fool me now aren’t we?
Though you forget I ain’t a kid

I see straight through the lies
And how popular you are with guys
To see the insecurity
Of a popular wannabe

One could be more than two
Or whatever digits you chose
If one is there for you
When you needed them the most

They don’t define you
Don’t make that mistake
Forever you’ll be untrue
Of what’s more worthy for your sake

Leave pride to one side
And be truthful for a change
Don’t take them for a ride
On the fake coolness train

I am not as cool as you
I don’t have friends as many
But I know some simple truth
Beneath it all you bleed just like me

Yeehaaa..back in KL...

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Written on 11/20/2004 02:56:00 am by sikapitan

So how was your Raya? I was in Penang for 7 days, from last Wednesday till two days ago. Just like I wrote in the previous entry, it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be, though cramming everyone into a typical terrace house meant I had to sleep on the couch most of the time, and not a particularly large one at that. But we had Astro, and I managed to fill up my time playing Football Manager 2005, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Don’t read this if you don’t like ‘poyo’ things: In two seasons I managed to win the FA Cup, League Cup, Charity Shield, Premier League and Champions League, using basically the same crop of players Man United are having right now. So Sir Alex, when do you want to give way for me?

Let’s get on with this whole Raya business, and it is a business now considering the commercialism of the whole thing. I’m not complaining though, just making an observation. Is it normal for you guys to be stuck in front of the TV during Raya period? My family, extended and all, live off TV every time we get together. We just love watching all these Malay shows on TV, from musicals to ‘blockbusters’. A few observations on the Raya programming on TV:

1. Please get that Pakcik Macam-macam Ada off the air. It was cute at first but the whole ‘Ada Riaaa Ada Rayaa’ ad just looked pathetically cheap. Now I just want to smack the old man right out of his songkok and that isn’t a pleasant thought to have during this glorious month.

2. Why are they showing depressing melodramas during Prime Time? Seriously, almost all the TV drama that was shown had some dark somber tone surrounding it. ‘Quran Buruk’ was especially depressing, almost as pathetic as the whole ‘Pondok Buruk’ series. If the Chinese watched TV during this period they would have thought we Malays like nothing better than to live in Kampung, having affairs, disrespecting our parents, gatal, and we are piously unrealistic, surrounded with lots of supernatural beings, or just simply stupid.

3. Musicals are getting a bit boring isn’t it? The problem is that there aren’t enough genuine stars here in Malaysia. We all know that Ning is a wonderful singer, but she can’t carry a show by herself, because she’s not a star. So what do our beloved TV stations do? Get Siti. So Raya this year is filled once again with Siti Nurhaliza. It’s not that I don’t like her, in fact I can be called somewhat of a fan of her music, but I just think it’s silly to see her face every hour or so on every TV channel.

4. What’s with the commercials this year? There appears to be a genuine lack of creativity. It’s so sad and pathetic. What makes it all the more depressing is that it’s all lies. Take Petronas “Tale of Two Mothers of Police Officers” ad as an example. Now, Petronas has always been noted for their strangely unique way of ushering in this month of festivity by placing sad ads. Remember the one with the two brothers who goes on a bus to meet their father and his new wife in the city? Well, this year, they tried to be clever about the whole thing and fell flat on their face. It’s not for me to say, but where the hell do you find this whole Malay and Indian mom cooking together in the same house and stayed friends forever for years? And that Indian guy at the end with one of the lousiest acting I’ve ever seen in a Petronas commercial... “Aleh, takkan la semua iklan Petronas kena ada yang mati kan” in a supposedly nonchalant way..screw his ass, if they put out any more of those crap I’LL go and kill someone from Petronas...man…

I like that Deepavali Tenaga Nasional commercial where the whole Indian family waited for the whole house to be lit up. It isn’t politically correct, nor is it morally positive (as it encourages power wastage), but it’s light-hearted, comical and more importantly, it is unrealistically real (go figure). And it’s way way better than any advertisements purporting unity and all that. Propagandas abound. The other day I was in OU with my best friend, and I’m the only Malay guy there with an Indian buddy. Does Petronas exec really have Indian buddies? I just hope they stop all the bullshit. Political correctness is overrated. I might call him ‘macha’ and he might call me ‘belacan’ but behind all that he’s there when push comes to shove, and that’s more important than being politically correct now isn’t it? Believe in your intentions.

5. This year’s Prof A. Razak Mohaideen’s year, because I count no less than 5 of his films shown on TV before and after raya. There was Jutawan Fakir, Mistik, Cinta Kolesterol, Hingga Hujung Nyawa, Anak Mami, Kuliah Cinta blab la bla (I guess there’s way more than 5 then). And he’s also got two movies showing simultaneously at the same time in the cinemas. If his shows are any good, I wouldn’t have much to complain, but they’re mostly crap. I’m not one of those fence-critics who only know how to diss without really understanding Malay cinema. I actually follow almost all Malay shows and entertainment news, so don’t call me biased. I think he’s a money-maker, churning out formulaic script that’s so typically pathetic yet commercially viable that it makes you wonder why you aren’t a millionaire director.

Oh man, I’m sleepy. Maybe I’ll have more things to kutuk by tomorrow. Oh yeah, it’s after Ramadhan, so must I still be nice? See what I mean about intentions?

Anak Mami..huhuhuhu

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Written on 11/09/2004 02:34:00 am by sikapitan

It’s Tuesday morning, and tomorrow I’ll be on my way back to Penang for the Raya celebration. I’ve never been much of a traveler, preferring the sanctity of the Kuala Lumpur and all its endless superficial attractions like shopping malls and interconnecting highways. I used to enjoy going back to my hometown, but as I get older, I felt that I’ve outgrown the place. Perhaps it is part of the generation cycle that we all go through. The migration to Kuala Lumpur in the late 70’s and early 80’s by our parents led to a whole generation of “Balik Kampung” people. That’s why Kuala Lumpur is so empty during the holidays. We are actually 2nd generation migrants to KL, in that we are born here but we are inextricably linked to where our grandparents reside. Slowly, our grandparents pass away, and our family members drift apart, starting their own cycle. I’ve friends who are already in this stage, where their family celebrates their Raya here and THEIR parents would be replacing the role of grandparents. We will see this trend continue in the next decade, where more and more people would not be “Balik Kampung”.

It is a pity really because although I do feel apprehensive every time I have to go back, once I’m there, it isn’t so bad. In fact, there have been years when I truly felt sad coming back here to Kuala Lumpur. I fear the day when no one goes back for Hari Raya, perhaps sending out greetings and asking for forgiveness online (don’t freak me out). It is something that every kid must go through, the Balik Kampung routine. It helps build character. There’s nothing more challenging than staying entertain during a four hour journey, and that’s with a smooth running highway. I still remember the days before PLUS, and it took hours to get to Penang. But even though we only rode a simple Proton Saga, I find the sights truly amazing, creatively filling up the surroundings with imaginary soldiers and tanks, entertaining myself with play-acting as policeman/fireman/soldier/pilot/Robocop/Suria Perkasa Hitam. Now, my little brother, with his color Gameboy and plush seats can’t go half-an-hour without complaining being bored. We used to take our time, dropping by on relatives along the way in Ipoh, or stopping for “Kuih Pau” at Slim River. Now, we only stop to pee and complain that the journey’s too long. How times have change.

When you reach there, even the air smells differently (well, it could be the seawater:P). Even though Penang is an urban city, it is NOTHING like KL. Yes, you have the jams, but the people inside the cars around you look different. There are not many pretentious young posers in their nippy little sports car or Datin’s in their CLK’s thinking they look like Joan Collins when in fact they have a body like Collin Powell. There’s plenty of posh cars, make no mistake, but it doesn’t have that air KLites bring about them. The famous dining establishments there do not require you to wear shirts or ties. In fact, the servers are more usually seen in dothis and singlets. But somehow, you don’t really mind even though back here if you see the Chef not wearing a cap you immediately think that it is a dirty establishment. We let our guards down; we no longer have to care. I can walk around in whatever shirt I want, oversized or not, branded or not, and people wouldn’t care. In fact, the single most pleasurable thing about going back to Penang is the utter lack of care for others, in a non-bad way of course. You think “I wouldn’t see this person ever again so who cares if I sneeze”.

And what’s Balik Kampung without the relatives? They cause me endless confusion. I like to categorize. For example, I don’t like wannabe gangsters. It’s easy. I can generalize. But with relatives, they’re like..you cannot file them under any description. I absolutely dread meeting them, but I really enjoy conversing with them, exchanging banter with the sophisticated ones, teasing the simpler ones. I don’t like to go out with them, for they’re really really ‘Kecoh’ as a group, but they provide me with endless humorous anecdotes. But what I like most about them is the fact that they’ll always be there. You might not like them, you can hate them, and not talk to them for years, but they’ll always be connected to you. Friends come and go, and as the years go by I’ll promise you you’ll have lesser time to hang out with your mates and as they get their own little family you’ll eventually drift apart. But family will be there. When you’re down with cancer, family will be there. When you don’t have money, your cousin will lend you some. At least in my family they would.

I do leave Penang usually heavy-hearted, but as I get pass that final toll plaza, all thoughts about Nasi Kandar, duit raya, weird relatives, funny moments, ‘semayang raya’ all goes out of the window. There’s something je ne sais quoi about KL that makes me really happy to be staying here. While my father keeps on dreaming of a quite house with orchards in some far-away land, I’m quite comfortable in this concrete jungle. The only gripe I have is jams, but then that’s a story for another day, no?

This is my last entry till after Raya. Hope you enjoy your holidays. Selamat Hari Raya dan Maaf Zahir Batin. Yea yea, I’ve forgiven all of you. Just kidding.

Is it a better world?

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Written on 11/06/2004 04:23:00 am by sikapitan

And so the rest of the world has to wake up with free-wheeling, trigger-happy cowboy as the leader of the most powerful country in the world for the next four years. After 2 years of serious campaigning, the most expensive election ever resulted in America never being as divided as it is. However, truth be told, it wasn’t as close as many might have expected. Yes, there was a fight till the end, but it was clear that Bush had the majority needed. Surprisingly, the Republicans made more inroads into the Senate, further diminishing the power of the Democrats. After all the hoopla surrounding it, the battle ultimately proved to be an anti-climax. Kerry was never strong enough to challenge the charismatic Texan. Perhaps Hillary (and it ain’t Hillary Duff) in 2008 is a better bet.

It is worth noting that the whole world virtually stood on a standstill while the election went on. There appears to be no battle, no economic meltdown, and no mass killing of innocent Muslims. Everyone seems to be just waiting for the result. This reflects not only the power of America, but also the difference between them and the rest of the world. The American Public does not give a damn about the world. It’s true. It’s not because they’re stupid. Far from it. Plenty of great inventions emerged from the land of opportunity.

America is unique, and its uniqueness can be traced back to its early history. They are fiercely independent, as characterized by their early frontier explorers (the old TV hit Little House on the Prairie exemplify this). They are proud of their hard earned independence. They are primarily an immigrant society and even more multi cultural than us Malaysians. It’s not like they DON’T want to care, but their diversity in culture provides enough news and problems for them to worry about than to care about Malaysia building the tallest building in the world. We MUST care because their every action affects on a global scale never before seen after the days of empires. If one kid decides to buy a new Nike shoe, it affects the life of the women in Indonesia who works in the factory trying to support 4 kids. They DON’T have to care because whatever we do doesn’t mean shit.

The problem with this election is that the media, especially foreign media, placed too much emphasis on international policy of the two candidates. Data collected has shown that the American public actually cared more about home-based problems like healthcare, education and taxes, as they have every right to be.

So guys and gals, be ready for another term of the Bushman Show:)

Yer, boleh saya tolong vs. Nak apa?

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Written on 11/03/2004 03:06:00 am by sikapitan

Do we treat people differently because of the way they look? I watched “Becker” (which I love by the way) and some reality tv-show called “Mr. Joe Average” today, and their topic surprisingly was the same. Would the way a person look affect the way you treat them?

In my humble opinion, to put it eloquently..duhhh! To think otherwise would be extremely na├»ve. I cannot imagine anyone living in this world today who would seriously think that we can simply overcome the physical aspect of communication. We are all humans aren’t we? I’m extremely peeved when beautiful people act so surprised when they discover that people are no longer nice to them if they look haggard and suddenly had cracks in their face like the planet Mars. It’s a proven fact that we humans, as individuals, vary our responses according to physical appearance. I’m happier helping out Shanty with directions than I am with Syanie (if you don’t know who these people are, don’t feel bad. I’m just lame. Shanty is this superhot Indon artist while Syanie is this supersize Malay actress).

BUT the difference between us, and what separates the class act from the pretenders, is whether you would help Syanie at all. I would like to say I would, I really do. And if she was to ever ask me directions, I would help her out. I like to think that I’m non-judgmental in that way, but that’s just being polite isn’t it? I would help her because that’s the decent thing to do, not because I WANTED to. And I really don’t understand why people go all nuts and demand I actually like helping them out. These self-righteous COOL fools can say what they want, but EVERYONE discriminates on some level.

The thin and pretty might not like the fat and ugly. The fat and ugly might not like the clever and eloquent. The clever and eloquent might not like the stupid and ignorant. The stupid and ignorant might not like the thin and pretty. Sometimes you feel uncomfortable talking to them because their navel is showing, or you might be turned off by the headscarf. We all have out peeves and I don’t understand why we must be so politically correct that we lose our own self-identity. Our idiosyncrasies make us what we are.

However, the theory above only applies for small time communication and chance encounter. If there’s an opportunity to know a person better, and that person actually is a beautiful person on the inside, then don’t just hate them because they aren’t. In fact, the same can be said for those beautiful people who are hated just because they’re beautiful. I know. I’ve done that to others. Just because they’re beautiful doesn’t mean they’re shallow/bitchy/rude/arrogant and such.

It’s one thing to be quick giving directions to a fat lady but then offering to SHOW a beautiful girl the way to the same place, and another to bad-mouth a decent person simply because she/he doesn’t dress according to CLEO/FHM or they’re beautiful-so-they-must–be-cool-so-they-must-hate-us train of thought.

Cheerios

Top Ten Annoying Things...

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Written on 11/01/2004 01:34:00 am by sikapitan

I just thought that I’ll start having Top Ten lists like the ones they have in Dave Letterman. Since I am generally a hard to please individual (or some might say “stubbornly arrogant bastard”), I guess I’ll make a Top Ten list of things that annoys me. Now, this is not as easy as it sounds because quite frankly I’m annoyed with almost anything. I’m dead serious. But here are at least ten of the most annoying things/situations/people that grates me to no end. It starts from 10 to 1, in that particular order, with 1 being the most annoying.

10. AMP radio network which runs Mix, Hitz, ERA and other what-nots. I do understand the importance of commercials to keep a station running, but I’ve seriously given up on listening to radios in my car. There was this one time, I started the radio and I didn’t get to listen to even ONE damn song throughout the journey. Yes, it only took 12 minutes but isn’t that a long time for a radio station NOT to be playing music? It could be traffic updates, news updates, chit-chat with callers (who cares where they go to school) or the much dreaded commercials. Whatever it is, it’s actually encouraging piracy. I’ve resorted to making my own playlist, from songs downloaded, and I must say it is wayyyy more satisfying than listening to some over-hyped radio I’m-too-cool-I-must-have-slang Deejay.

9. While we’re on the subject of crass commercialism, let’s take a look at that annoying POP-UP tv ads or even worse, the TV-IN-A-TV exploitation. Ntv7 and TV3 are the most obvious culprits. I can’t afford a 34-inch flat screen tv, so please don’t minimize the already small viewing area and filling up the outskirts with lousy-cheap commercials. What about NTV7 and their never-ending commercials? For every 7 minutes of Friends, we have 6 minutes of commercials, AT THE VERY LEAST. Thank god it’s mostly cosmetics/shampoo commercials;)

8. Potholes. Yes, it might seem a bit trivial to many but maybe that’s because we encounter too many of them that we take them for granted. I cannot stress enough the damage potholes, no matter how small and insignificant its effect can do to your car’s suspension. It’s a daily annoyance I tell you, and that’s what makes it all the more annoying!

7. Blind-man donation scam. I have nothing against charity in general or passing the odd buck or two to a person in need specifically. But I am pissed at the almost systematic way this duo-routine goes about collecting cash from people at hot-spots. Uptown is a favorite and even your venerable Hartamas/Bangsar is not spared. I used to give any spare change I have and decline the utterly rubbish sticker/card they hand out. But as I hang out more and more I’ve come to realize that there’s an actual syndicate going about because my friend once saw one duo we met in Uptown change places! The blind becomes the guide and vice versa. Unbelievable. And even if the blind person is really blind, I cannot help but think that the real person benefiting from all our money is not really him. And that sucks because I am a sucker for people in need of help.

6. Secondary actors in the cinema. You have your Ben Afflecks and Nicole Kidmans on the screen when suddenly out of nowhere you hear Ah Ben and Nik Kidal giving their own version of what’s going on. What’s worse is when they get it totally wrong!! “No la no la, she killed him first one.” “But I thought Troy was a girl” and other such nonsense. Then there’s the radio commentator giving free shot-by-shot account of the movie through his new 33-who-bothers-to-know Nokia handphone. “Yea yea..she’s going into the room…very dark…wait wait..dia bukak baju…t*t*k besar..”. You get what I mean. Can I safely say I’m on the right side if I just smack them right on their head? Could they then call their taikos, cover etc2 to beat me up?

5. Proton. I’ve driven Protons before, and quite frankly there isn’t much for me to gripe about, besides the fact that my Satria broke its rear bearing TWICE, or our WAJA’s dashboard popped up to reveal the inner workings of the speedometer, or the window on the driver side of my Satria kept on getting stuck! We’ve gotten rid of them, and thanks to the seriously reliable Korean and Japanese imports getting cheaper, so should YOU! They’re bloody too manja for my liking. I liked all its cars, but I think that Proton is milking every last bit from a very very old cow. It takes them the same amount of time to complete the KLCC to come up with a new model! I’m really frustrated. They keep on churning out variations of the SAGA and SATRIA which is essentially based on platforms older than my little kid brother who’s now in Standard 3. While Perodua has been progressively moving forward with each new product (plus they have really cooler advertisement), Proton came up with the JUARA and ARENA, two vehicles any car lover would deem horrendous at best. Lack of ingenuity in design, coupled with utter disregard for reliable customer care has left PROTON way too vulnerable to attacks from other mates, for example the recently launched so-affordable Toyota Avanza.

4. People who thinks they’re always right and makes it a point to prove it to everyone. Well, that’s because I think I’M always right, but it annoys me nonetheless. Example: “Semua orang tahu BMW lagi mahal dari Merc” and I go “Oh, aku selalu ingat Merc lagi mahal (the polite way of saying- fuck you don’t know shit)” but he’ll say “TAK. BM lagi mahal..” and goes on and on how he reads this mag or that mag. Annoying.

3. Posers. Yeah, I might be one of them but I do find MYSELF to be annoying sometimes. Seriously, what’s with this elitist attitude? What’s inherently wrong with befriending girls who wears tudung? They’re not cool enough for you? Why must he be hanging out at Bangsar before you talk to him? I guess at all levels we do discriminate but that’s human nature. Certainly my taste in music and culture is different from a guy coming in from Jengka, and we don’t hang out because we just don’t click but what’s wrong with just being nice? I just can’t stand those who don’t give other groups a chance. I personally like hanging with the quiet group as much as I do the yo-yo group. It helps me understand how people work. We are all created equal, no? And the differences between you and I are not actually controlled by us but by the society surrounding us. So if YOU were the one born in Jengka instead of him, you could be a Siti-fanatic don’t you think? Understand this and you’ll appreciate others more.

2. United losing. It's closer to hearbreaking but the way they are currently playing just gets on my nerves.

1. Arsene Wenger. Brilliant coach, but a grade-one whining wanker.

Cheerios.