My First Month as Daddy

4

Written on 5/04/2009 03:02:00 pm by sikapitan

“Nooooooo…he’s been out for a month and all he can give us is another Daddy story…” Sorry folks, there’ll be a bit of this because Dani has become a huge part of my life, so it’s only natural that I talk a bit about him.

The first month has been great. Dani and Mommy have been nothing but superb. The only challenging part is trying to raise Dani my own way. It’s not as easy as it seems, especially considering that everyone has Dani’s best interest at heart.

For example, I want Dani to be breast-fed. But in the beginning, he can’t seem to connect with the nipple well enough for the milk to be pouring, and if the milk is not pouring, he gets frustrated and hungry. The first 2 days, he was a screamer. We tried feeding him but he just can’t connect. The nurses said that it’s okay if the baby doesn’t get any milk, as they’re conditioned to last about 2 days without it. They recommended we stay patient and steadfast in trying to breast-feed the boy.

Unfortunately, both our parents can’t stand to see him cry (and again, he’s a screamer) so they (in particular, Tok Nani aka my Mom) started saying how we’re torturing him etc2. Finally, we caved in, and fed him formula milk. Guess what happens? He gets used to easy milk, so he won’t work hard for breast-milk, so the milk stop coming out easily, so he can’t get the milk, so he gets frustrated, so we have to feed him formula. It’s a chicken and egg thing.

It’s hard to be mad when your mom or dad wants to pamper the baby because they can’t stand to see the baby cry. I mean, they have a point. Why let the baby suffer? But the consequences will only be felt later. Dani developed rashes after a few weeks of having S-26 Gold (cow-based formula claimed to be closest to breast milk), and he now has to take soy-based Isomil Eye-Q. His antibody will not be as strong as a baby that drinks breast-milk.

It’s the same thing with cradling him to sleep. If my baby has been fed, and his pampers are clean, I would honestly let him cry until he falls asleep, as he has developed this habit of wanting to be hugged and cradled until he sleeps. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with cradling him, but as my nephew Adam proves, it gets difficult for the baby to part ways and be independent even after 1 or 2 years.


Dani and Danny thinking how much
we can milk Tok Nani and Tok Wan of their money...heheheh

It has been good every time I used this technique. He’ll cry about 10-15 minutes then fall asleep naturally. But when our parents come into the picture, they’ll immediately want to hold and sway the baby to sleep. Arghhhh….

And I can see it now. How every time I don’t want to give something to Dani, someone will come and give it to him out of pity. How every time I’d want to discipline Dani, there’ll be a rescue angel (most likely Tok Nani) who’ll come and spoil everything. Not spoil per se, but you get my drift.

I wonder if all grandparents are like that. Or if yes, why can’t they remember when they were having us, how they have to deal with THEIR parents.

Hahaha…anyway, Dani loves Tok Nani so I should be cool with that.

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4 Comments

  1. iezu |

    my dad was kinda like that with my nephews. even now he spoils them...

    my mum...she's a bit more of a disciplinarian, that can be a prob too. it's clear at times that she didn't necessarily approve of how 'lenient' the parents are. things must be done her way, the traditional non-parenting book way.

    in any case, i'm sure you'll do just fine parenting lil dani. all the best!

     
  2. Iron Butterfly |

    i like ur idea of parenting :)

    and i soooo understand about grandparents spoiling the grandkids sebab kesian.

    Dani is lucky. everybody wants to love him. heh.

     
  3. D. Sofia |

    Hey Congrats on your little boy!

    Long time no hear, eh? I just wanted to share with you that I had the same problem with my first child not latching on properly or not knowing how to latch on-- with horrific if not graphic consequences(bleeding nips). What I did was use a breast pump to express milk and fed her through the bottle. Around 3 weeks, the baby was big enough that her mouth was big enough to latch on properly. I then breastfed her for 2 years and 2 months.

    Am on 2nd child now ;) Expressing at lunchtime at work, breastfeeding after work and on weekends. Baby takes expressed and formula at the nursery while mommy joins the rat race.

    I have to say, those 2 years breastfeeding was the most satisfying investment to see your child have a solid immune system and very resistant to minor illness in childhood.

    Good luck!

     
  4. Car Loan Calculator |

    Be a good dad....^^

     

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